Let's Be Real...a Raw Post

I've always been a loyal friend. You can say that I would rather have 5 best friends than 10 friends. I was raised to always keep in touch, return phone calls and send thank you notes. Now that I've moved away, its killing me not to be right around the corner from my friends. I always try my best to visit them whenever I make a trip back home.


I asked one of my best friends to be my MOH (Matron of Honor) in my wedding. I've known her for more than half of my life and she knows everything about me. She's gone on family vacations with me and even calls my grandmother, "Mom-Mom". 


I was a cheerleader for 14 years, and most of my close friends are ones that were on my team. It had nothing to do with the fact that they were cheerleaders, it was because they are the most genuine, truthful friends I could ever ask for. Unfortunately, my MOH has never really accepted the fact that I am not a clicky friend. A friend is a friend regardless of their athletic ability or group of people they hang out with. 


We recently had a conversation in which she said that she thought I felt obligated to ask her to be my MOH. In all honesty I felt let down. I didn't think I would ever feel a comment like that from her again. We had an argument after high school that came between us and we didn't talk for years. I swore to her I would never let that happen again. So by asking her to be my MOH I thought that would show her the high regard I have for her. I wanted her to be there standing next to me, helping me get everything together, helping me shop for my wedding dress. The past couple weeks, I hadn't heard from her as often as I did before. When she finally decided to tell me what was on her mind I froze. I just couldn't believe I was hearing the petty excuses again, especially that I would feel obligated to ask her anything. I really don't want the drama and tears unless they are happy tears. 


I haven't asked any of my friends to be in my wedding party yet. I had a really special idea in my head of how I wanted to ask them in the spring (one year to our wedding). The truth is, I could have asked any of my friends to be my MOH. I wouldn't be asking them to be my bridesmaids if I didn't want them standing next to me on my wedding day. Every girl means the world to me, so I decided I'm going to call them my "best maids" instead of bridesmaids. 


Have any of you had to deal with losing a MOH or a bridesmaid? Email me, I could really use some advice. 

xo